i feel enveloped by a pervasive chill, a void where emotions once flourished but now lie barren. the world around me seems muted, every color faded into a gray indifference. there is a numbness that stretches through each day, a relentless fog that blurs the line between what i once cared about and what now barely registers. in this cold shadow of apathy, i drift without purpose, my heart heavy with a disinterest that leaves me isolated from the vibrancy of life.
each morning, i wake to a routine that offers little solace, the same listless patterns that reinforce my detachment from the world. the passion i once knew has withered away, replaced by an unyielding calm that borders on despair. i watch as opportunities pass by, each one unseized, as if the desire to act has been swallowed by an endless void. even the things that once brought joy now seem distant, their spark extinguished by the chill of indifference.
in moments of reflection, i wonder if this numbness is a shield, protecting me from the pain of loss and disappointment. yet, it is also a prison, trapping me in a state where nothing feels real or worth pursuing. the cold shadow of apathy is not just a lack of feeling—it is a presence that weighs heavily on every thought and decision, leaving me to navigate a life that feels suspended in an ever-present winter.
thoughts of a dying athiest 